What is it with people who revisit their childhood every time they feel left out or they get their feathers ruffled? Why does a 45-year-old man persist in arguing with three and four year olds? Or expect that the way that he was raised to be the final word in child rearing simply because it is the way he was raised when in fact he is always whining about the harsh way in which his mother raised him? He was made to salute, to tow the line, to be seen and not heard, and when he acted out the consequence was corporal punishment. Resentment and jealously fuel him in this regard. And frankly, my dears, I don’t give a damn for his attitude, his behavior, in this matter.

Yes, Mike is back. He came back to the Bay last week from Tahoe. I am not sure how I feel about it at all. I don’t want to be in a “relationship” with him at this moment but I do care about him and wish him well. He does not have a family to go to; his mother is an unrelentingly cruel and uncaring bitch, and his father, the polar opposite of his mother, lives in the northern most part of Idaho and the weather makes the roads inhospitable for RV driving. Mike used to be such a patient and controlled man. Somewhere inside he still might be. But at the moment he is not. He is impatient, intolerant, irritable, angry, and bitter. I used to like being around him, he had a calming effect on me. But now I can only take so much then I want him to take a time out, sit in a corner, practice silence, and think about his actions. He doesn’t do this of course and so I am left with the desire for him to just go. There is too much anxiety, tension, stress, and worry in this group already without adding his stuff to the mix. But, he came to help drive the kids to school and pick them up in the afternoons while I am gone and if he can manage to do that and keep his head about him then he is welcome to stay. He loves the kids, would do anything for them, and has and does, and he saves his bad behavior for me, so hopefully all will go well in my absence.

I leave this post now with a hope and a prayer in my heart.