mike

Mike and I were together seven years. There were some very good times in the beginning and scattered through the not so good times but in the end the not so good times won. It is so like the song "When Love Goes Wrong" sung by Marilyn Monroe in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. Here is a link to that song: http://www.metrolyrics.com/when-love-goes-wrong-lyrics-marilyn-monroe.html The blues, they hit you hard when love doesn't go right and you wonder which direction you should take. Do you continue on the way you are going in an atmosphere of ever increasing tension waiting for love to turn to hate or do you decide to go you own way, to leave your lover behind and perhaps preserving at least in memory the love you once shared?
Mike and I had different priorities at the end. His was with his father in Idaho, spending some time with a father he hasn't known for the past twenty years. Good for him. I would give anything for another day with my parents. My priorities are also rooted in family but they are also rooted in self. I would like to find a way back to myself. At the start of this blog I wrote that I was in search of a home and this is still true. The difference today is that I am in search of a home that I have realized is within and now I need to find a way to define that home within. I do want to find a physical home as well but finding my spiritual home is even more important and is one that I must navigate myself. My family, my children and grandchildren, may serve as buoys along the way but it is my boat to keep afloat.