Homeless in 2010

“In a recent approximation USA Today estimated 1.6 million people unduplicated persons used transitional housing or emergency shelters. Of these people, approximately 1/3 are members of households with children, a nine percent increase since 2007. Another approximation is from a study done by the National Law Center on Homelessness and Poverty which states that approximately 3.5 million people, 1.35 million of them children, are likely to experience homelessness in a given year (National Law Center on Homelessness and Poverty, 2007).

According to the Stewart B. McKinney Act, 42 U.S.C. § 11301, et seq. (1994), a person is considered homeless who "lacks a fixed, regular, and adequate night-time residence; and... has a primary night time residency that is: (A) a supervised publicly or privately operated shelter designed to provide temporary living accommodations... (B) An institution that provides a temporary residence for individuals intended to be institutionalized, or (C) a public or private place not designed for, or ordinarily used as, a regular sleeping accommodation for human beings." The term “homeless individual” does not include any individual imprisoned or otherwise detained pursuant to an Act of Congress or a state law." 42 U.S.C. § 11302(c)”

-From the National Coalition for the Homeless

http://www.nationalhomeless.org/factsheets/How_Many.html

In June, 2010 the Associated Press reported that: Total number of homeless individuals drops as family homelessness increases for 2nd year

Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/us/2010/06/16/total-number-homeless-individuals-drops-family-homelessness-increases-nd-year/#ixzz18lJ68hJu

Day to day living

December 11, 2010

Two weeks and two days before Christmas. Living in a motel. Had to get an extra room for all of us and the pets. $122.00 per day. $854.00 per week. This is killing us. But what are the alternatives at this moment? We have no relatives in the area except for Uncle Alan who is 74 years old with multiple health issues and living in a senior apartment complex. Of course, I suppose you could consider my daughter’s father and his wife who also live in the area but he wasn’t there for his children while they were growing up and he hasn’t made a move to help them as adults so he isn’t really an option either. This is why I am here. I may only have a limited income to contribute to this brood but I am here to help with grocery shopping and driving the boys to school and helping with homework. I could walk away and be fine on my own but what would that mean for the rest? Hillary Clinton was right when she said it takes a village.

Mike has returned from his southward journey to offer support and to try and talk his mother into renting us her empty house in Marin. I don’t hold out much hope for the bitch helping in any way. She has already begun the manipulation game with Mike. He is still in the recovery process from his last binge but he is trying. I don’t know where he will go from here but it was gallant of him to return to us in hopes of being a help.
***
December 13, 2010

Two days later now and we are leaving the motel this morning to stay at a friend’s house while my son-in-law drives to the North Bay to work for a few days. Mike’s mother offered us the house at the discount price of $2700.00 a month, with first, last, and deposit upon move in. Needless to say he told her where to put her offer and ended the call. The house is nice but not that nice and she just wants to show how in control she is. He is now in process of writing a letter to her notifying her that he will seek judicial recourse if she does not evict renter in the house they own together so that he can have access to the house. He has asked her repeatedly over the past several years about his living in the house and she has said that it is currently rented. He does not benefit from it being rented. He does not see any of the money. So, he will proceed with a claim of ouster through the court system. The house is a cape cod, brought over from the 1939 World’s Fair held in New York. It sits on the San Francisco Bay and has a view of the Golden Gate Bridge.

Mike is not with us here. He drove the RV over to Marin to see if he could stay with friends until something positive happens for us here on the Peninsula. We are hoping for a Christmas miracle.
***
December 14, 2010

These kids are champs. They roll with the punches and accept the disappointments and inconveniences of living in first a motel and now at a friend’s. They understand that things are hard right now and they troop on, all with a smile on their face and laughter billowing out around them. They wrote their letters to Santa and sent them off. They know that while Santa will leave something for them wherever they are Mom and Dad may not be able to buy any presents this year. They know that being loved and kept fed and sheltered is enough right now.

We are the lucky ones. How many families are out there with no friends, no jobs, no shelter, and no food? We are grateful for all we have knowing that we are the lucky ones.

The Break-up

Mike left for Yuma yesterday evening. His leaving was actually a three day process. He left on day-1 and called from San Rafael, an hour north from here over the Golden Gate Bridge, to say that he stopped off to see his friend Dave. What this actually meant was that he went to his old stomping grounds to hook up for one last boost of meth. Day-2 he called and said that he would be stopping by to say good-bye one last time before actually heading south. He dropped by but was crashing so hard from the meth high that he was nearly incoherent. He laid down minutes after arriving here and didn’t make an appearance until yesterday, day-3. I was on my way back from taking the older boys to school and picking up diapers when he called to say he was leaving again. We said our good-byes over the phone and he was pulling out of the drive as I pulled in and we waved in parting. Later in the day, walking to pick the boys up from school I called Mike to see how far he had gotten. Not far at all. He was a mere mile or so away picking up organic apples at Molly Stones and would drop them off on his way out of town and he said he would call in the morning. I didn’t see him this time around; I did get the apples he left in the trunk of the trailer. So, when I say that Mike left for Yuma yesterday evening I am speculating. I will give him a call later this morning and will find out then.
I wish him the best. We broke up. Or is it a Rachel and Ross “taking a break” kind of thing? I am sure he will be back at some point but will there be any point in resuming a relationship that was lost among the ruins of addiction and codependency? So, I wish him the best as he tries to mend his relationship with his mother and to heal the hurt inside of him. Me, I will go on as I always do, meeting the challenges of the day and looking for a way to heal myself and continue my search for a place to call home.

"I Am An Emotional Creature"

The following excerpt is from the new work "I AM AN EMOTIONAL CREATURE: The Secret Life of Girls around the World" by Eve Ensler. The book is exceptional, breathtaking, and a must read for every female, for every emotional creature.

I AM AN EMOTIONAL CREATURE

I love being a girl.
I can feel what you're feeling
as you're feeling it inside
the feeling
before.
I am an emotional creature.
Things do not come to me
as intellectual theories or hard-shaped ideas.
They pulse through my organs and legs
and burn up my ears.
I know when your girlfriend's really pissed off
even though she appears to give you what
you want.
I know when a storm is coming.
I can feel the invisible stirrings in the air.
I can tell you he won't call back.
It's a vibe I share.

I am an emotional creature.
I love that I do not take things lightly.
Everything is intense to me.
The way I walk in the street.
The way my mother wakes me up.
The way I hear bad news.
The way it's unbearable when I lose.

I am an emotional creature.
I am connected to everything and everyone.
I was born like that.
Don't you dare say all negative that it's a
teenage thing
or it's only only because I'm a girl.
These feelings make me better.
They make me ready.
They make me present.
They make me strong.

I am an emotional creature.
There is a particular way of knowing.
It's like the older women somehow forgot.
I rejoice that it's still in my body.

I know when the coconut's about to fall.
I know that we've pushed the earth too far.
I know my father isn't coming back.
That no one's prepared for the fire.
I know that lipstick means
more than show.
I know that boys feel super-insecure
and so-called terrorists are made, not born.
I know that one kiss can take
away all my decision-making ability
and sometimes, you know, it should.

This is not extreme.
It's a girl thing.
What we would all be
if the big door inside us flew open.
Don't tell me not to cry.
To calm it down
Not to be so extreme
To be reasonable.
I am an emotional creature.
It's how the earth got made.
How the wind continues to pollinate.
You don't tell the Atlantic ocean
to behave.

I am an emotional creature.
Why would you want to shut me down
or turn me off?
I am your remaining memory.
I am connecting you to your source.
Nothing's been diluted.
Nothing's leaked out.
I can take you back.

I love that I can feel the inside
of the feelings in you,
even if it stops my life
even if it hurts too much
or takes me off track
even if it breaks my heart.
It makes me responsible.
I am an emotional
I am an emotional, devotional,
incandotional, creature.
And I love, hear me,
love love love
being a girl.

Motel living

Thanksgiving is over and Christmas is just around the corner. Here we are living in Belmont’s Motel 6-3 adults, 6 kids, 2 dogs, and a cat-waiting to hear from home applications. The space we occupy is not big by any means but we do have an efficiency kitchen so meals are cheaper than having to eat out. I say three adults because even though Mike is here with us he tends to sleep in the RV. Mike is still in stages of detox and his irritability fuse is short. Then again, my irritability fuse, when it comes to his irrational and self-centered behavior, is also incredibly short.

Today Mike and Bill have driven to Tahoe to empty our post office box and pick up Mike’s birthday and Christmas checks from his mother and his last unemployment check. They expect to return this evening unless the weather prohibits travel. Mike will then leave here and head to Yuma, Arizona to spend some time with his mother. He will be gone at least two weeks and possibly through the New Year. He is going to attempt to mend his fences with her and to come to agreeable terms where their joint home ownership and joint bank accounts are concerned. I have to admit that having him gone for a while will be a nice break.

Mike is a truly generous and caring man. But, he does come with hang-ups, as we all do. One of his hang-ups is his bitterness over his childhood and the harsh discipline he endured at the hands of his mother and the fact that she chased his father-the loving, affectionate parent-away. He is jealous of the way that I love my children and my grandchildren and complains (whines) about it often. He loves my children and my grandchildren but he does not want to have to share my affection with anyone. When he is actively using he is seldom around, in fact he does not want to be around anyone during that time, but when he is clean he is very demanding of my time and my attentions. I give what I can till I have little left and still am expected to give more. I am coming to the end of my give a damn and this coming break will do me good.

California

November is half over and it is getting cold outside. In the past month we have traveled through Oregon, Nevada, and today into California. My daughter and her family returned to California from Kansas this week. Kansas did not meet expectations. Once you have lived in California it is hard to live anywhere else. California is a land of beauty, not just in landscape but in people. The diversity of nature and of culture is alive and thriving in California. It is a place where it is okay to be a bit different, to lean toward nonconformity, to wear white after Labor Day.

*** *** ***

One week before Thanksgiving. Grateful for family. Grateful to have roof over my head, our heads, and food in the cupboards and refrigerator. Grateful for the good health of all I love. Grateful for the strength of character exhibited by my very fabulous children. Grateful for the love I am surrounded by and cushioned by each and every day. Grateful to live in this country, with all its faults and all its wonders.

November

November is almost half over and it is getting cold outside. In the past month we have traveled through Oregon, Nevada, and today into California. My daughter and her family returned to California from Kansas a week ago now. Kansas did not meet expectations. Once you have lived in California it is hard to live anywhere else. California is a land of beauty, not just in landscape but in people. The diversity of nature and of culture is alive and thriving in California. It is a place where it is okay to be a bit different, to lean toward nonconformity, to wear white after Labor Day.

I have an extreme case of writer’s block lately but I did find this great blog page about California and wanted to share it.

http://geotripper.blogspot.com/2010/06/now-this-is-why-i-love-california.html

With any luck, and some inspiration, I will be back with an original blog any day now.